Putting the past behind
by Darth Golondor
Summary: A small fic about Elva's feelings. I find it unfair that she didn't got a real happy ending, so I created one (sort of).


**Putting the past behind**

It was night at Alagaesia. The people were already going to bed as the moon shined over the country. Only Elva was still out sitting on a bole watching the landscape. The war was already over. For the first time in 100 years humans, elves, dwarfes, urgals and werecats were living peacefully with each other. Nasuada was now the queen of Alagaesia and Eragon the head of the dragon riders. He would leave Alagaesia in a few days leaving his home forever behind. Elva's thoughts turned bitter as she thought about the dragon rider. On the one side she wanted to hate him for what he had done to her. She was just an innocent small infant and Eragon cursed her with this stupid curse. On the other side she couldn't hate him despite what he had done. She knew it was an mistake and he had also tried to remove the curse and offered her to do it again. She denied. She knew she was already strange enough. If she lost her ability to see other people's pain then she was just a useless monster. She thought back about every single pain she had endured of every men and women. How she was shunned from both adults and children and how she was used by all them so they could win the war. Pain was flowing through her as she thought about how happy everyone was or could be. She could never be happy again. She was an outcast, a freak, someone feared by anyone. The only thing she was good at was being someone's bodyguard. In this case, Nasuada. Sometimes she thought that she could just end it all by killing herself, but she always thought this was a pathetic way to overcome her pain. Now, she was not so sure anymore. She was always master of her controls, but as she thought about that she felt like having a stone in her throat. Finally she let her tears flow and began to sob. She put her head on her arms wailing like there was no tomorrow. For to long she had hided her feelings, now she couldn't do it anymore. She continued to sob there for a few minutes.

"Elva, is that you?" She stopped her wailing and looked to see the person that she at least wanted to see. In front of her stood Eragon in his typical dragon rider clothing. He looked concerned.

"Elva, is everything alright? I heard you crying?" He asked his eyes not turning away from Elva.

Elva wiped some tears out of her eyes, then she glared at him and crossed her tiny arms. "Why do you care? It's not like you ever cared what I felt." Elva said with distaste in her voice.

Eragon rubbed his neck. This situation was clearly uncomfortable for him. He cleared his throat. "Look Elva. I know we aren't on best terms. But I…I want to make it up to you alright for what I've done to you. And you're obviously hurt, so…" He trailed off as he didn't know what to say next.

Elva stared at him for a moment. He sounded like he meant it really, not just because he was forced to. She decided to tell him about her problem. For too long she had been shutting herself out. Now she wanted to change that. She took a deep breath. "I was thinking about killing myself."

The words dropped in like a bomb. Eragon stared at her in shock. He probably never thought that the tough little girl could ever thought about killing herself. For a few minutes it was quiet. Just the sound of the wind whispering was heart. Then Eragon recovered from his shock. He didn't shout at her _Did you lose your mind?_ , he didn't laugh at her saying that it was a bad joke. No he just stared at her and whispered a word so quietly that Elva almost didn't hear it.

"Why?"

Elva looked at him incredibly. He was the one who cursed her. He should know why. "Why?" She began angrily. "I think you know why! Everyday I have to carry the pain of all the people around me. It's suffocating me and I can't do anything about it. Not only I am shunned because of it, but I can never have a normal life anymore." She shouted raising her voice with every word. Eragon was just staring at her in shock. "You also all just use me for your own goals. Winning a war, protecting the queen. It's like I am the marionette!" She cried as tears were falling down her cheeks.

"And that's not even the worst. The worst is to see everyone around me having a normal life, living a happy life, laughing and enjoying themselves. And I can't do anything just to stare because I know I will never have such a life! I am a outcast and a freak! Nobody will ever love me! Everyone will just shun me! I can't do it anymore! I…I just can't…" Elva's voice broke as she collapsed into tears. She was sobbing her heart out. Eragon who was still shocked by this revelation immediately grabbed her and took her in into a tight hug. Elva was sobbing uncontrollably in Eragon's shirt as she wrapped her tiny arms around him.

Eragon was feeling awful more than ever. Elva just revealed her deepest problems to him, something that he had caused. And instead of taking care of her, he used her as a weapon. For the first time since Farthen Dûr he saw in Elva a small fragile infant. The past few month had let her think that she was already an adult, but that was a mistake. In front of him was not a tough grown up women. In front of him was a small girl who was searching for someone who loved her. He felt like the last arsehole. He needed to fix this.

"Shh, everything will be alright." He told her soothingly.

"How…how can i…it be alright again? I…I will ne…never be no…normal again." She chocked between her sobs.

"I can help you." Eragon said while stroking her hair.

Elva looked up to him with her purple eyes. "How?" She looked so sad, that it broke Eragon's heart.

"I…" He wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth. Then he got an idea.

"I could take you with me. To where I would go. I could teach you there stuff how to control your abilities and you could be among people who will accept you. I believe that the dragon riders, if I they got chosen will accept a small little girl with abilities that are no more different from their own." He told her while still holding her.

Her eyes beamed. "You…you would really do this?" She asked, her eyes puffy.

Eragon nodded. "I am sure Saphira would have nothing against it and I could use someone as a company, but only if you want."

Elva thought about this. On the one hand she would go with someone she didn't know if she could really trust him, on the other hand all her pain would stop immediately and Eragon was really concerned about her. She could feel his feelings. She decided that she would take Eragon's offer. Then she suddenly remembered her duty

"But what…what about Nasuada?"

Eragon smiled at her. "I think you should let me do this. I can be pretty convincing. So how about it, do you take my offer?" He asked almost pleadingly. She could feel that he really wanted to help her.

She nodded, then she hugged him. "Thank you." She whispered in his left ear.

He smiled. "You welcome." he responded. Elva smiled. She maybe wasn't normal, but she could finally get a normal life. She was finally putting her past behind.

 **Hey guys, I hope you liked that fic. I always wanted to see Elva confronting Eragon about her pain. I was not pleased with Paolini's ending with Elva. I mean she was just an infant and nobody was caring about her. Sure she was rude and somehow cruel, but can you blame her. She feels every pain and used by the Varden. And like I said, she is still a small child. You can't expect from a small child to behave really mature, or do you? And I hated it that she didn't got a happy end. So here is one for her. Maybe I will write a sequel to this, we shall see. Have a nice day, guys.**


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